"At the heart of each of us are some bedrock values and concepts that have probably always been there. Psychologists might say they come from our early childhood experiences. I like to feel that they are part of the individual endowment bestowed on each of us at birth. Whatever their origins, the important thing is to realize that they are deep inside of us and influence how we approach the tasks of living."
Hyrum W. Smith, What Matters Most
I. Topic: Values Alignment - A Powerful Process
II. Messages from the Masters
III. Coach's Book Shelf
IV. News
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I. Topic: Values Alignment - A Powerful Process
The concept of values is talked about so much these days, at a corporate and personal level, that some times it is easy to lose the true meaning and importance of values in our lives. Yet, why is it something that we do hear so much about? What IS the point in spending time to identify and assess our values at various points in time?
Most coaches and many other career and business specialists agree that in the long-run, the most consistent and effective work and personal progress can come from actions that are aligned with core, governing values. With almost every one of my clients, at some point, we end up finding our way to this discussion. I know that just when I least expect it, I personally gain from an extra look at where I stand in regard to my values. For me, this type of examination is usually prompted by some form of struggle or at a decision point that is difficult.
I've noticed that aside from gaining an edge in effectiveness, continually aligning your life with your values can benefit you in these ways:
Its simple. When we are living our lives, day-to-day, in alignment with our unique identity and values, the principle of attraction kicks into gear. Doors open and right people and cirmcumstances materialize that support what you are trying to do or create. When you express or act on your values, others come to fully understand you, and are able to refer you to opportunities that are just right for you.
Often values go hand-in-hand with our pleasures and passions. When you think about the times that you most enjoy yourself, or are most passionate and engaged, you will likely find that you are involved in an activity or are at a time in your life that is in synch with your values.
Aside from other key factors like whether or not an action will bring joy or peace, (actually values in and of themselves) or afford an opportunity to use your talents, there are few better metrics than the one of values alignment when you need to make a decision. Experience shows that acting or accepting a circumstance that goes against a strong value is likely to bubble up issues down the road. Values, as an internal compass, can help to simplify career, personal and overall life choices.
When we are engaged in any circumstances (such as work, hobbies, relationships), that are congruent with our values we often experience a certain ease. Struggle, resistence and conflict are less likely in these situations, and again, we are likely to attract more of the same ease across other aspects of our life. Just as there is less resistance when you are driving with tires that are well-aligned, the same is true when you are acting in line with your values.
So how can you discover your values to have this great tool in your hip-pocket? There are a variety of exercises and tools most career coaches and counselors can share with you, and there are books, like the one by Hyrum Smith that I mention here. If you're looking for quick way to start thinking about it, you can consider the theory of common human values that one expert has researched, and see if you find yourself here.
Frederic Hudson, founder of the Hudson Institute which offers training programs for adult renewal, empowerment and leadership, has worked with hundreds of corporations and government agencies, as well as more than seventeen thousand individuals, in the area of life fulfillment and direction. He has come to the conclusion that there are six abiding core values of adult life. Hudson says that these core human values are the primal incentives of our adult lives and in different combinations at different stages of our lives, we can draw upon them to give our lives greater meaning and purpose. In his book, Mastering the Art of Self-Renewal, these values are defined as:
1) A Sense of Self
Identity, self-esteem, confidence, self-reliance, autonomy, personal boundaries and self-responsible behavior. (During the first half of life, this value seems to relate to ego clarification and empowerment; During the second half of life, it often relates to the connection of the inner self with universal meaning and mystery.)
2) Achievement
Reaching goals, conducting projects, working, winning, playing in organized sports, having ambition (for recognition, money, results), being purposeful, getting results. (For anyone or at any time when work, military, sports or volunteerism is a main focus of life, this value is often emphasized.)
3) Intimacy
Loving, bonding, carign, nurturing, being intimate, making relationships work, nesting, coupling, parenting, being a friend. (Intimacy forms and maintains affective bonds and is essential for long-term attachments in adult life. According to Hudson's data, often men and women place a different emphasis on this value, and this will alter during different stages of their lives.)
4) Creativity and Play
Being imaginative, playful, spontaneous, original, expressive, humorous, artistic, celebrative, innovative, funny, joyful, and nonpurposeful. (This value can be a regenerative source in our bodies and lives. Unfortunately, when you think about how many adults make time to express this value, you find that it is not as frequently targeted as most other values. Children know this value best!)
5) Search for Meaning
Integrity, the experience of rapture, an inner connection in oneself to order and meaning in the universe, inner peace, contemplation, a sense of transcendence, concern for the whole. (This value is usually central during a life transition but can be a spiritual motivator in a life chapter as well, particularly in the second half of life.)
6) Compassion and Contribution
Caring, giving, helping, mentoring, improving, leading, reforming, supporting, being grateful, leaving the world a better place, bequeathing a legacy. (These are particularly powerful values in the life chapters of people over forty. They represent an attitude and desire to give something back.)
>Coaching Action Challenge
Determine your current top three core values. You can do this through prior notes and knowledge, or if you are exploring it for the first time, you might try some of the resources mentioned above. (I would be happy to send you a Values Identification exercise personally if you drop me an email at: berquistcoaching@aol.com)
For each of your three central values, with a look across your whole-life picture, ask yourself: In what ways am I currently aligned with the value? In what ways am I not aligned with it?
Then pick one scenario you want to impact first, and commit to taking a step that will get this situation more in line with your values. See if you feel a shift or benefit after fully implementing your change.
Good luck with it---If you feel like sharing, I'd love to know how you do!
II. Messages from the Masters
"Without values there is confusion and chaos. When values disintegrate, everything disintegrates. Health disintegrates, poverty attains dominance over affluence, societies and civilizations crumble. When we pay attention to these values that society has always held sacred, then order emerges out of chaos, and the field of pure potentiality inside us becomes all-powerful, creating anything it desires.
---Deepak Chopra
"Can you honestly say that yesterday's four meetings 'at work' were about work you value in life? Think back. Hard. Through each of those meetings did you sleepwalk? Or did you make a distinct contribution consistent with big things in this life that you value as a unique individual?
---Tom Peters
III. Coach's Bookshelf
What Matters Most - The Power of Living Your Values
By Hyrum W. Smith
There are many books that speak to the topic of setting priorities and managing your life. I like the personal and conversational style of this book, combined with stories, practical theory and simple methods for identifying your own governing values and then living your life in alignment with them. This book is connected to the FranklinCovey programs and methodologies.
IV. News
Jill Berquist currently has openings in her Group Coaching experience for Coaches. Now is your chance to experience the power, synergy and cost-effectiveness of group coaching. Sessions will take place via teleconference bridge line; prerequisite is minimum of six months of coaching; maximum available slots in group will be 6 to ensure maximum gain for all. Contact Jill at 860.659.5829 or berquistcoaching@aol.com for more information.
Glastonbury Business and Professsional Women's Club, Inc. will hold its May meeting on Monday, May 12th, 5:30 p.m. at Laurel Gardens in Glastonbury. Guest speaker is Diane Danielson, consultant and author, presenting on Networking Savvy for Women. All guests are welcome. For more information and to R.S.V.P, contact Marianna Emanuelson, President, GBPW, at mrrre@msn.com.
The next Coaches and Trainers Collaborative Incredible Coaches Circle will be held at Panera's of Glastonbury on Monday, June 2, from 6:30 to 8:30 p.m. All are welcome to join this gathering for conversation, community, resource-sharing and fun. The only requirement is a passion for coaching. For more information or to R.S.V.P. please contact Jill at 860.659.5829 or jill@ct-collaborative.com.
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