The advanced personal growth movement of the 80's and 90's saw countless people embark on a quest for meaning in their lives. Regardless of where these same people are now on this quest, (or even for those that never began one), the events of the past few months rang in the alarming reminder of the fleetingness of time; Many have begun to ask serious questions of themselves about who they are, and what they are here to do.
What exactly do we mean when we say someone is living with "purpose" or has found their "calling?" Kind of like an eclipse, a couple of things need to be in alignment here. When the essence of who you are is uncovered, (your values, gifts, passions) and then is applied in your daily life, somehow positively contributing to something that goes beyond you---back out into the world, you are fortunate enough to have found that powerful meaning we are speaking about. It is interesting how when people start on this course of living in alignment with their true gifts, they rarely look back!
A client of mine, Michele, was a partner in an architectural firm. She recently left a long-term career there, not even truly realizing how little it was tapping into her greatest talents, and how much her spirit was being zapped of energy, until she left. And as it is in most of these scenarios, once she began to say "no" to what wasn't working, and through our work, got clearer about what was, opportunities that were much more aligned with her began to quickly immerge. And to think, Michele feared she'd have a lack of things to do upon leaving! From illustrating a book, to leading some construction, administrative and technical projects for various friends and family, she found great pleasure out of using her creativity and her hands-on problem-solving skills in some interesting and rewarding ways. These were things that she had gotten very removed from, or had little opportunity to do in her partner role, yet had truly enjoyed. As an added bonus, as she lined up her whole-life priorities in this process, she got back into better fitness and re-connected with her friends and community. Now she is on the next step of her quest, to incorporate her passions into a full-out career, and is energized to keep the momentum going.
So, how can you begin a similar quest, if the timing is right for you? Identifying a calling is done by exploring yourself in three areas:
1.) What excites you?
What do you find fulfilling? What cause (or service/product) could you get passionate about?
2.) What is unique about you?
What are your true gifts, strengths, skills, talents and values?
3.) Where's the fit?
What work would incorporate the special gifts you bring, while allowing you to contribute in a way that makes you feel good every day?
Once you begin to identify some of these things, you'll really get this process going by saying no to projects, people or activities that are NOT aligned with who you are. Then watch the energy shift. And the more it does, listen closely, as you will begin to hear the sound of your "calling." One of the most meaningful and powerful sounds there is.
>Take Action!
Begin to tune into your "calling" by answering the questions above. If you need help with this, here are (3) ways to get you started! Good luck, and please, feel free to drop me a line if you want feedback or assistance.
1.) Invite some of your "inner circle"-- loved ones, friends and current or past colleagues to come over for a brainstorming session about YOU. Ask them to respond with ideas about your greatest talents, and then even ideas for careers or projects that would best utilize them. You provide the food and drink…and offer to reciprocate for anyone else in the group who wants to do the same thing!
2.) Set aside two 1-hour blocks of time to write about some of the experiences in your life that you found deeply satisfying. Note what it was you were doing, what values and passions of yours were expressed in the activity and specifically what role you played. These will all be clues leading to your calling.
3.) Here we go again. As with much of our soul-centered success journey, time alone in nature, walking, listening to music, WHATEVER you do that lets you tap your "wise-self" a bit, will help you uncover these answers.
***Added Tip: Take some of the results from the above exercises and ask a mentor or coach to work with you on honing in on a clear purpose statement with you, as well as brainstorming some career or project matches. This is difficult to complete alone, and your partner in this can help make sure you end up something that is clearly representative of what YOU are all about.***
II. Messages from the Masters
" Purpose is a profound commitment to the compelling expectation for the time of your life. "
- Frederic Hudson and Pamela McLean
" In our time, we are being called upon to examine our work: how we do it; whom it is helping or hurting; what it is we do; and what we might be doing if we were to let go of our present work and follow a deeper call. "
- Matthew Fox
III. Coach's Top Picks
Real Moments, By Barbara DeAngelis, Ph.D.
This is an older, but great book on how to step back and look at your life in order to live with more meaning. This bestseller addresses how to get more from your relationships with your mate, your children, your work, and most of all, yourself, for a life filled with fulfillment and peace. What's also "real" about this bestseller is that this renowned expert on relationships shares her own personal journey from workaholism and surface-living, to uncovering a much more meaningful way to live.
The Power of Purpose, Creating Meaning in Your Life and Work, By Richard Leider
One of my all-time favorites on this topic by an expert on Career and Life issues and among other things, a columnist in Fast Company on such topics.