"Your task is not to judge the paths of others, but to find a path that will lead you ever closer to the murmerings that you hear in your heart. Begin by accepting where you are."
Kent Nerburn, from Simple Truths, Gentle Guidance on the Big Issues in Life
Contents:
I. Topic: It's Where You Are, Not Where You've Been
II. Messages from the Masters
III. Coach's Book Shelf
IV. News
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I. It's Where You Are, Not Where You've Been
There has been a theme that has come to my attention in a number of ways lately. When this happens I usually feel compelled to share it.
Suze Orman discusses this premise in Law# 2 of her recent book, The Laws of Money, The Lessons of Life and just today, I was reading an excerpt from Out of the Darkness and Into the Light, by Gerald Jampolsky, M.D., which relays the same point. This is the habit we have of sabotaging the present by dwelling on the past. With spring fast approaching, there is no better time to consider how we can refresh our perspective.
Orman's financial reference to this is her advice that we need to acknowledge and operate on our current financial picture, and get "unstuck" from how we used to be with money, or how much we used to have. Wouldn't it be nice if we could all so easily accept the harsh reality of what our portfolio and retirement plans look like today, without constantly referring to what "was" a couple of years ago?
Jamplosky and Orman use the analogy of driving with your eyes in the rear-view mirror, instead of being aware of what is around you and where you are going. We'd all agree that that the only place that will lead us is quickly into a head-on collision!
It stands to reason that once we face the reality of our present situation we can make effective decisions and take meaningful actions to get us where we want to go. So why don't we do this? Sometimes it is just more safe and familiar to operate with an old, familiar mindset. Other times, as with our financial statements, emphasis on the past keeps us from admitting the ugly state of the present. Probably it is the same reason I threw myself on the floor the other day to demonstrate a dance pose my four-year old was practicing, half wrenching my 40-year old back in the process. My mindset thinks I must be as agile as I was 10 years ago. My body apparently disagrees. The same holds true in every aspect of our lives. How many of us hang onto the clothes that are in smaller sizes, assuming that we will fit into them again? Guilty. How often do we judge our relationships on what they once were, versus what they are and who we are today? On the workfront, I often see clients in a career transition, understandably, have a difficult time seeing their career from the standpoint of where it and the market is today, versus what they used to be doing, or what they used to be earning.
Sometimes the reality that we need to face may be a harsh one, and other times it may be letting go of a negative or "less-than" image we may have of who we are. Once we put ourselves in any outdated box, we have no vision to see up over the edge to the new and better opportunities that may even be right around us. As difficult as it can be to shatter some of those boxes, even if it is to embrace the talented, powerful or unique person we really are, it is a worthwhile challenge. Some of the most important work I can do with my clients is help them to shed a strong light on their current situation, especially who they really are. It may take good timing and the right tools, but once they reach some glimmer of this, it is amazing how much easier it is for them to move beyond "old" perspectives and onto a strong and steady path. Once they begin, fortunately, there is little turning back. It is too exciting and affirming to move beyond our blocks from the past toward a powerful present. And of course, the more powerful the present, the more exceptional the future.
Coaching Action Challenge
Which aspect of your life could use a reality-check? Which area speaks to you the strongest: career, family, relationships, your health, well-being, self-image? Focus on it, and commit to taking one action that will move you closer to embracing your current truth in this area. Whether you write that letter you'll never send to get closure, throw away those jeans or those boxes that no longer serve you, begin to unearth your strengths or your passions, or do the hard-analysis of your financial situation, you will feel that much better for it. Create some goals or a vision around this reality, and you will have the fuel and integrity to propel you where you truly want to go.
II. Messages from the Masters
"You know the disease in Central Africa called sleeping sickness....There also exists a sleeping sickness of the soul. Its most dangerous aspect is that one is unaware of its coming. That is why you have to be careful. As soon as you notice the slightest sign of indifference, the moment you become aware of the loss of a certain seriousness, of longing, of enthusiasm and zest, take it as a warning. You should realize the soul suffers if you live superficially."
----Albert Schweitzer
III. Coach's Bookshelf
The Laws of Money, The Lessons of Life, Keep What You Have and Create What You Deserve, By Suze Orman
This is the most recent of Suze's money management books, and I think, one of her best. Although her books share common themes and advice, this one is structured in a simple and thought-provoking way to keep you grounded in some basic finance and abundance truths. It is loaded with many useful case examples and the author effectively even shares her own transformations as a result of these principles. Exercises and tools in the book make it a practical guide as well.
IV. News
Beginning in either April or May 2003, Jill Berquist will be facilitating a Group Coaching experience for Coaches. Now is your chance to experience the power, synergy and cost-effectiveness of group coaching. Sessions will take place via teleconference bridge line; prerequisite is minimum of six months of coaching; maximum available slots in group will be 6 to ensure maximum gain for all. Contact Jill at 860.659.5829 or berquistcoaching@aol.com for more information.
The next Coaches and Trainers Collaborative Incredible Coaches Circle will be held at Panera's of Glastonbury on Monday, March 31, from 6:30 to 8:30 p.m. All are welcome to join this gathering for conversation, community, resource-sharing and fun. The only requirement is a passion for coaching. For more information or to R.S.V.P. please contact Jill at 860.659.5829 or jill@ct-collaborative.com.
The next Coaches and Trainers Collaborative Spirit at Work Circle will be held on Thursday, April 24, 2003 at the home of Melina Rudman, 390 Orchard Street, Rocky Hill, CT. Contact Melina at 860.721.9712 or melina@ct-collaborative.com for more information, directions, and to R.S.V.P. |